It’s common for children to experience some anxiety at the beginning of a new school year, even if they are returning to a school and to people that they know well. There are so many adjustments to make – summer activities are ending, daily routines may change, there may be new teachers and children to get to know. And the children themselves have grown and may be thinking about their upcoming school experiences in new ways.
Some children adjust to change very quickly and others will need more time. Many experts suggest that it’s not uncommon for children to experience typical separation anxiety for up to ten weeks before routines settle in. Your consistent positive support can make a big difference as children form deeper relationships with their teachers, who will be their primary supports while they are here at school. Remember that it’s ok for children to take the time they need, and that each child’s feelings need acknowledgement and understanding. And while acknowledging feelings, family members can set up consistent routines, kindly but firmly remind children when you’ll be together again, and develop strategies together that help ease the transition period.
Here are some practical tips to think about:
1. Look for the special ways your child handles the transition time comfortably; take your cues from your child.
2. Support your child – try to be positive. Children are very sensitive to your ambivalent feelings; these can represent doubt to your child, and add to his or her sense of insecurity.
3. If you enter the classroom and choose an activity to aid in your child’s transition, choose something that has a definite end (puzzle, book, etc.). Let your child know that upon completion of this activity, you will be leaving. Then stick to it.
4. It is helpful for some children to bring something from home – a favorite stuffed toy, book, photo of a family member, note, etc. This connection to home can be very reassuring.
Here are some helpful phrases you might use when it’s time to say good-by:
“I know it’s hard to say good-by.” “Mom and dad will always come back.”
“This is a special place, just for children.” “Will you make me (daddy, sister, etc.) a special drawing today?”
“I’ll be back to pick you up at lunch time.”
“Have a fun day.”
I’ve included some links below to articles on NAEYC’s “For Families” website with more tips on handling transitions into school: